And the winner is...

Amanda was the winner of an entire season of Showtime's The Tudors and Marie was the winner of The King's Rose by Alisa Libby. I have emailed the winners. Please send along your mailing address so that I can get out your prizes.

If you didn't win this month then there is always next month... Next month's giveaway is one my absolute favorite books this year - Mistress of the Sun by Sandra Gulland. All newsletter subscribers are automatically entered to win The Raucous Royals' Monthly Giveaway. If you are not a newsletter subscriber then you can subscribe here.

Congratulations to this month's winners!

Showtime's The Tudors: Historical vs. Hollywood – Episode 4

I was a little rushed completing this week's Historical vs. Hollywood because I have been on book tour for most of the week, but I found very few inaccuracies in episode four. If I missed any big ones, please add them to the comment section.

The Tudors opens with more news of the rebels being put down by Suffolk (Norfolk) and Henry’s plans for Jane’s coronation. The model barge Henry admires is a pretty accurate replica of the 1526 Bucentaur used by the Doge of Venice (The painting to the left is a 17th century depiction of it). Henry planned to build a similar barge to bring the queen from Greenwich to London for a royal pageant and then proceed to Westminster to be crowned. The Bucentaur was commonly used in ceremonial rituals in which the chief magistrate of Venice, called the Doge of Venice, would cast a ring into the Adriatic to symbolize the marriage of Venice to the sea. *

Cromwell also discusses Lady Mary’s marriage negotiations with Don Luis, the brother of Charles V’s wife Isabella. Don Luis and Mary were both grandchildren of Ferdinand and Isabella of Spain and therefore first cousins. This put them in the prohibited fourth degree of kinship and needing one of the Pope’s fancy dispensations to marry. We can guess how that turns out. **

Henry has now got word of Reginald’s latest bestseller, Pro ecclesiasticae unitatis defensione where he called Henry a heretic, adulterer and a dirty barrel, among other things. In 1537, Reginald was causing a whole lot of raucous. He had received a warm welcome in Paris where he most likely tried to convince Francis to take action against Henry. This made Henry hopping mad so he wrote to his cousin Francis asking him for, ‘the deliverance of our rebel Reginald Pole.’ (1) Henry then sent his buddies, Sir Francis Bryan and Thomas Thirlby scrambling to France to basically negotiate kidnapping Reginald. (The Bishop of Verona referred to Bryan as one of Henry’s “principal mignons” indicating that he did not have much faith in Bryan’s diplomatic skills.) Just like in the Tudors, Francis refused to deliver Pole, but did promise to expel him within 10 days. Translation: don’t get me involved in your petty arguments cousin.

Meanwhile, Sir Ralph Ellerker is pardoned and can’t believe his luck. In reality Ellerker had got back into the king’s good graces well before the trials began and even gave evidence against Constable. (I personally thought his character was sort of useless.)

Alas, Robert Aske is not so lucky. He is found guilty and is sentenced to hang in chains at the dungeon of Castle York. You might be thinking (as I was) why not just use a rope people? What is with the chains? Well, after some careful research into torture and executions, it turns out that traitors were often hanged in sturdier chains so that their skeletons could be left hanging for years and years. These mutilated corpses served as a public service announcement to the kids of England….just in case they were thinking of betraying their king.

Flash to a gleeful Cromwell who is scribbling away at yet another letter. The letter in this scene was to Sir Thomas Wyatt in Spain and dated July 8th, 1537. Cromwell writes, “The traitors have been executed. The Lord Darcy at Tower Hill. The Lord Hussey at Lincoln. Aske hanged upon the dungeon of the Castle at York. The rest were executed at Tyburn. So that, as far as we can perceive, all the cankered hearts are weeded away.” The Tudors uses this letter word for word. Yey for real history!

The next scene is either pointless or it is predicting one of Henry’s future love interests. The Lisle daughters (Katherine and Anne) are to be sent to Jane and she will choose one of the daughters as a lady-in-waiting. The daughter that she ends up choosing is rumored beauty, Anne Basset. Henry developed a close “friendship” with Anne and there was talk of a rumored affair after Jane’s death. The Tudors may possibly play up this affair in the next few episodes.

Now that Jane is pregnant, Henry is petting her like a prized Chia pet. A dramatic scene follows where Jane invites Henry to feel the quickening of the baby. This scene is given so much attention because in Tudor times, a pregnancy was not considered viable until doctors could feel the baby move, usually by month four at the earliest. Before ultrasounds, you could pretty much have some really bad gas and mistake it for a healthy pregnancy…which better explains why phantom pregnancies were so common.

Next we see Jane’s confinement at Hampton Palace and some truly harrowing birth scenes that would make any pregnant woman wish to be a gay male. (or at least I did.) We see Jane’s doctors begin to impatiently eye their knives as the birth drags on and on. Were Jane’s doctors really considering performing a Cesarean? In truth, Cesareans were rarely performed in the 16th century because it always led to the death of the mother. No evidence exists in any of the accounts of the prince’s birth that Henry considered such an operation so it is doubtful that even he could be so cruel. Still, this scene is not complete Hollywood rubbish. After Jane’s death, many ballads circulated throughout England containing rumors that Henry had killed his wife by ordering she be cut open.

After two days and three nights, (about two minutes in Hollywood time) Jane finally gives birth to a healthy son on the eve of the Feast of St. Edward. (thus he is named Edward.) At the christening, Edward Seymour carried the Lady Elizabeth and Mary acted as one of the godparents. You might have been wondering why neither Jane nor Henry was at the christening, but it was not customary for royalty to attend. Queens had to actually endure a further confinement because they were still considered “dirty” after giving birth.

Meanwhile, Henry is off celebrating and the scene showing him weeping with joy is actually true. After three marriages, many heads rolling and the greatest church schism England had ever experienced….Henry finally had his son. Viewers can now turn off their tv sets. Right? Not exactly…

Eight days after the christening, Jane went down quickly and her drastic change of health surprised everyone around her. Jane’s doctors reported that the queen had suffered a “natural lax”, or loosening of the bowels. Many historians have theorized that the placenta was not fully expelled after the birth and this led to an infection. In the days before antibiotics, there really was not much doctors could do to save a mother with puerperal fever. Often they would bleed the patient in a fever’s early stages by cutting a vein or applying leeches to the genital and buttocks. ( A procedure that sort of makes you feel guilty for complaining about hospital food.) Bloodletting did work to some degree in the early stages of infection by starving the staph bacteria, but was only effective in the first hours of a fever. Unfortunately, it took Jane’s doctors some time to figure out she was headed for the pearly gates.

The scene that follows with Henry visiting his dieing wife is very touching, but unfortunately pure Hollywood. It was simply not customary for Tudor royalty to visit the dieing and Henry had an endearing habit of making a disappearing act when any of his wives faced death. But despite Henry's avoidance of death, he obviously grieved tremendously for Jane. As shown on the Tudors, Henry must have been reminded of losing his mother in the same manner. In a letter to Francis I, Henry wrote, “divine providence has mingled my joy with the bitterness of death of her who brought me this happiness.” (2) As David Starkey has pointed out, Jane was the perfect wife because she had the good sense to die before she could ever fall from Henry’s graces. She was mother of his only legitimate son and the woman that Henry would remember fondly as the true queen of England. Could another woman fill such a role? Stay tuned for the next episode of Historical vs. Hollywood to find out…

*The Bucentuar was also used in state ceremonies and carried Henry II of France in 1547 and Dogaress Morosina Morosini_Grimani in 1597. Sadly, the Bucentaur was destroyed by Napoleon in 1798 to symbolize his conquering of Venice. A project to restore it began in March of 2008.

**ok if you can’t guess, the marriage negotiations fell through when Charles was unable to convince the Pope to grant a dispensation.

Notes:
(1) Bernard, p. 405
(2) Fox, p. 231

Sources:
Bernard, G. W. The King’s Reformation, Henry VIII and the Remaking of the English Court, New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 2007.
Fox, Julia. Jane Boleyn: The True Story of the Infamous Lady Rochford, New York, NY: Ballantine Books, 2009.

Further Sources listed in previous posts

The Raucous Book of the Month: The King’s Rose by Alisa M. Libby

I have read a few fictional portrayals of Catherine Howard and most present her as a one-dimensional bubble head who only cares about dancing, masques, and whatever shiny bauble the king’s throws at her feet. In Libby’s portrayal, we meet a more human Catherine torn between her desire to please her family and her desire to follow her heart. This Catherine is no Paris Hilton stuck in the 16th century. In The King’s Rose, Catherine is smart enough to understand her responsibility as queen, but also painfully aware that she is in over her head. Catherine thinks, “I am not a magician. I am not a witch. I can make the king feel young again, but I cannot actually make him young.” Here lies her dilemma. Catherine is constantly being reminded of her responsibility to produce an heir and she feels time running out as Henry experiences one health problem after another. Will her desperate situation force her to take drastic measures?

If you’re a Tudor junkie, you might already know about the love triangle Catherine finds herself in when one of Henry’s courtiers catches her eye. And if you are just getting into Tudor history….well, I don’t want to give too much away. Libby does occasionally veer slightly from the real history for a smoother plot flow, but an author note at the back clarifies which parts were based on conjecture. Get this book for your teenage Tudor lover or better yet….treat yourself to a little Tudor intrigue and romance.

This month, The King’s Rose will go to one lucky newsletter subscriber. The newsletter goes out at the end of each month. If you are not a subscriber then you can subscribe here.

Showtime's The Tudors: Historical vs. Hollywood – Episode 3

Episode 3 kicks off with Aske being invited back to court for what is shaping up to be the Brady Bunch Christmas…. except Henry is seething inside and looking for an excuse to salt and boil Aske’s head. Henry promises Aske that all leaders will be pardoned and they will have their meeting with Parliament. To show his loyalty, Henry gives him a handsome gift of a robe. In reality, Henry gave him the gold chain off his neck and 1000 pounds.

Little Lady Elizabeth is looking as cute as a button and reciting French to the delight of the court. She was back at court for the celebrations.

Holbein is busy painting the beautiful and very nude Lady Missledon. Minus the jealous fiancé bursting in, this scene is pulled straight from the history books. According to legend, Holbein got into a fight with an anonymous English earl and threw him down the stairs. The injured earl complained to Henry about his injustice, but instead of punishing Holbein, Henry admonished the whining courtier by reminding him, “I tell you, earl, that if it pleased me to make seven dukes of seven peasants, I could do so, but I could never make of seven earls Hans Holbein or any as eminent as he.”(1) (The Tudors uses a very similar line.)

What I thought was particularly interesting about this scene was that they showed Holbein using what looked to be an early form of a camera obscura. A camera obscura is basically an optical device that projects an image onto paper so that the artist could accurately sketch or paint their subject. It is believed to be the first form of photographic images. Art Historians have always wondered if Holbein achieved such accuracy in his paintings by using a camera obscura.

Flash to Francis Bryan getting naughty with Edward Seymour’s wife, Anne Stanhope. It is true that Edward Seymour’s repudiated his first wife, Catherine Fillol for adultery, but he was married to Anne Stanhope by 1534. (Rumors had it that Anne Fillol's affair was with Edward's dad John Seymour. ick.) Contemporaries describing Anne Stanhope have given her the typical 16th century, misogynistic euphemisms for “strong willed". One account referred to her as ‘monstrous’ while another called her ‘more presumptuous than Lucifer’. (Katherine Parr later nicknamed her ‘hell’). Whether these descriptions are deserved or not, Anne certainly kept her husband on a very short leash. But, this short leash did not include cuckolding. So although it is a juicy scene, this one is pure Hollywood.

A touching scene follows where the Lady Mary gives Aske a diamond ring. One of the demands of the Pilgrimage of Grace was that the Lady Mary be made legitimate again so Mary most likely secretly supported their cause. Still, there is no proof of any meeting with Aske or of Mary giving him a diamond.

Aske leaves London and paints a picture to the commoners of just how rosy the world will be once they submit to the king. Constable and Darcy tell him to wake up and smell the deception, but Aske is still as naïve as ever. All true. At this time, the commoners continued to revolt and this was all the excuse Henry needed to reneg on his promises. Suffolk (Norfolk) is instructed to head back north to punish the rebels. What follows may seem like a superfluous amount of bloodshed, but by all accounts the retaliation was as gruesome as depicted. (Yes, Norfolk really did hang all the rebels by trees.) In a later scene, The Tudors touches on the regret Norfolk bears as Henry’s handmaiden of death. Unfortunately, we really don’t know how the Pilgrimage of Grace affected Norfolk, but anyone with a pulse might have felt a little queasy about murdering mostly innocent men fighting for their beliefs.

Suffolk then tells Aske that he is needed back in London to “explain” himself. Aske with his usual dopey, lost puppy look agrees to return to London. All of this could have been prevented if I could have reached into my television and shook some sense into the fool.

Meanwhile, Jane is having the standard pregnancy craving for quail eggs. (This sent my pregnant stomach to the bathroom….but to each their own.) It is true that Jane was gobbling up quails (not their eggs) every chance she could get. Henry even had to order them from Calais and they were rather expensive at 12d for six dozen.

What follows next is a sickening interrogation of the leaders Constable, Darcy and Aske. Constable had a hard time defending himself with the hot poker stuffed up him arse so his interrogation did not have as much dialog. No record exists of Constable being tortured. He was hanged in chains at Hull. Not a pleasant way to die.

Cromwell accuses Aske of spreading untrue rumors that the parishes would be torn down which basically started the whole rebellion. (true) Aske denies the charges and says the real reason for the rebellion was that he was trying to preserve the monasteries which he called, “one of the beauties of the realm.” (He used these exact words.)

Henry later visits Aske in prison. The visit is pure Hollywood, but Henry’s speech to Aske really does hit on why Henry felt justified dissolving the monasteries. By the 16th century, the lifestyle of many of the abbots was completely secular. They often lived in separate lavish households, held offices in parliament and engaged in the same activities as nobles – hawking, feasts, chasing the ladies etc. When a very broke Henry saw the riches of the monasteries…. it didn’t take long for him to see the answer to his financial woes. Henry really did view many of the abbots and monks as “vagabonds” living off the wealth of the church.

In fairness to the monasteries, they provided valuable services to the community including hospitality to rich, alms for the poor, the production of wool, education for women, employed a sizeable workforce and obviously spiritual fulfillment. We can imagine today what happens when a major employer has to close their doors. Many monks and nuns did receive pensions, but they were also out on the streets without work. If your greatest skill is weaving tapestry or chanting hymns then it was kind of hard to find job opportunities.

Meanwhile, Cromwell also accuses Darcy of being a traitor, but Darcy reminds Cromwell that his hands were kind of tied at the time. (see discussion on previous episode.) Cromwell uses Darcy's letter as proof of his deception. This is true. Darcy kept record of all of his correspondences which later provided the proof to convict him. During his interrogation, Darcy bravely defied Cromwell and warned him, “thou wouldst procure all the noblemen’s head within the realm to be stricken off, yet shall there one head remain that shall strike off thy head.(2)” The Tudors incorporated Darcy’s speech into the interrogation scene, but modernized the English. Nice touch. In a later scene, viewers see a meeker Darcy with his pickled head on the Tower bridge. At least he went out with a good speech.

Whose head will roll next….stay tune for episode 4 to find out.

Miss the last episodes of Historical vs. Hollywood?
Read Historical vs. Hollywood for episode 1
Read Historical vs. Hollywood for episode 2

Notes:
(1) Warnicke, p. 141
(2) Moorhouse p. 339

Sources listed in previous episode

Details of Anne Boleyn's incestuous relationship with her brother now online

Documents on the opening of Anne Boleyn's trial are now online at the National Archives for the first time. (scroll down to KB 8/9). This opening includes accusations of Anne's adultery and incest with her brother in which the famed queen supposedly, "tempted her brother with her tongue in the said George's mouth and the said George's tongue in hers." ewwwwww. Too yucky to be true? Most historians think so and even the Spanish Ambassador Chapuys predicted George's acquittal.

Theories continue to differ on why George Boleyn got pulled into the messy business of Anne's downfall. Here are just a few...

The deformed fetus theory
Before Anne's arrest she had supposedly given birth to a deformed male child which according to historian Retha Warnicke, Henry saw as a clear sign of evil incarnate. This deformed fetus led to Henry's conviction that Anne was a baby killing witch and his marriage was doomed. In the 16th century, incest was closely associated with witchcraft so accusing Anne of incest made Anne's execution justifiable in the eyes of a very religious and superstitious king. Even though there is little evidence that Anne gave birth to a deformed fetus, Warnicke gives readers an interesting glimpse into how witchcraft shaped beliefs toward women.

The Anne as victim theory
Eric Ive's believes that few defenses were written about Anne during her trial or after because, "if Anne was 'noble', 'virtuous' and 'worthy', Henry had been a either a monster or a gull." Anything that hurt Anne's reputation, vindicated Herny. Sounds a little too black and white to me, but obviously Henry wanted Anne's reputation dragged through the mud. Along that same line of thought, George Boleyn was merely a helpless casualty in the mission to defile poor sweet Anne. Maybe.

The Henry as Tudor mob boss theory
In my opinion, John Guy and David Starsky suggest the most plausible theory. Henry felt Anne had crossed him and good old Hank was MAD....and certainly mad enough to lash out at Anne's brother. Revenge may sound too simplistic, but Henry may have honestly believed that Anne had committed adultery. Supposedly, Anne had also spoken of Henry being impotent - an act of treason. During George's trial, he had been instructed NOT to read out loud these accusations. But what did silly George do? He brazenly read out loud the tawdry rumors of Henry's impotence. I am pretty sure that calling a man bad in bed to his entire court tends not to lead to clemency.

Obviously, the 16th century idea of revenge was far more violent then it would be today so we have to be careful when making comparisons. But even by 16th century standards, Henry demonstrated a propensity for being a real jerk. Let's remember poor Margaret Pole (shown here), a feeble, old woman sent to her death for her son Reginald Pole's treasonous acts against the crown. Margaret had denounced her son's actions and had always been a loyal servant to the crown even serving as godmother and governess to Henry's daughter Mary. But Henry wanted to send a message to Reginald....mess with me and your whole family gets wacked! Tony Soprano would have been proud.

Appearances are everything
I would also add that Henry was very sensitive to his reputation at court and to the rest of the world. At the time of Anne's downfall, Henry had fallen for Jane Seymour—a woman he saw as the antithesis of Anne. Henry may have wanted to thoroughly tarnish Anne's reputation to create a contrast between Anne as witch and Jane as godly. A new reign was about to begin and Henry wanted his people to accept his new wife and their future heirs.

What do you think? Why was George Boleyn dragged into the trial?

The Tudors: Historical vs. Hollywood: Episode 2

First off, there are a few inaccuracies that bare repeating for anyone just joining these posts. Yes, we all know that Henry looked more like the Pillsbury Doughboy than Jonathan Rhys Meyers. And yes, the producers have chosen to Frankenstein some characters. In the Tudors, Suffolk puts down the Yorkshire Rebellion instead of Norfolk. Robert Constable got his name changed to John Constable. (A John Constable did exist, but he refused to join the rebellion and would be turning over in his grave if he knew he got cast as one of the ringleaders.) Lastly, (and this is really nitpicking) Reginald Pole meets with Cardinal von Wahlberg when he really should be meeting with his buddy the Bishop of Verona. But despite the occasional mucking with history, the writers certainly worked hard to keep the real history in the drama that unfolds....

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 2 OF SEASON 3.

The Tudors opens with Cromwell looking frazzled at the recent news of the uprisings. The Lincolnshire rebellion has been squelched, but the far more organized Yorkshire rebellion is proving to be a more difficult matter.

The rebels had employed an ingenious manner to recruit members of nobility to their cause. Basically, any noble that refused to join the cause would have all their goodies taken from them and their castle reduced to a pile of rubble.

The Tudors glosses over Darcy's predicament, but as victim in this tale, his story deserves a little more explaining. Darcy was adamant about not joining the Pilgrimage of Grace which is why he wrote a letter to Henry explaining that he needed more soldiers to defend his castle and withstand the rebels. But Darcy would have probably had more luck writing to Santa Claus because Henry didn't have an army to send to him. Most of the royal army was composed of tenants from local Lords who were a little tied up at the moment fighting for the other side. Predictably, Henry ignored Darcy’s request for arms.

Flash to the bedroom scene... Besides the lack of an army, Henry has other problems. He is still recuperating from his leg wound and showing off his washboard abs for the pleasure of our distaff viewers. Sound titillating? Well, it would have been except Henry’s doctors are also picking pieces of bone out of his puss filled leg. (You might not want to watch this scene during dinner). We still do not know today the cause of Henry’s ongoing leg problems, but the wound may have been caused by an infection of the bone (Osteomyelitis) and his doctors did find splinters of bone.

Henry’s doctors then give him some herbs to heal his wound, but Henry sends for another kind of poultice…. a little of Lady Missledon. She pours on a concoction of sex appeal, crushed pearls and various herbs. The usual hi jinks follows. (Yes, Henry really did use crushed pearls as medicine.) This affair is of course creative license because we do not have proof that Henry was unfaithful to Jane. He did make one comment to Chapuys about missing a few beautiful ladies at court before deciding to get married, but otherwise Henry was as prudish as ever.

Either way, Lady Mistledon’s tender care must have worked. Henry is soon up and about celebrating with Jane and promises to make a trip to the Shrine of Thomas Beckett to give thanks for his improved health. This is the same shrine that he later tears down and scatters the bones to the winds. So much for gratitude.

A radiant Mary is then invited back to court to the delight of papa Henry who proudly proclaims her his “jewel” and tells everyone that he sure is glad she still has her head. Wheeeeew wouldn’t that have made for an awkward moment in history? His exact words are the same used in the Tudors; ‘Some of you were desirous that I should put this jewel to death.’ (1). All of this excitement proves too much for the fragile Mary who swoons before the court. (Yes, she really did faint.)

Henry then wonders if his court's licentiousness has tarnished his precious jewel. The only way to find out is to put Mary’s innocence to a test. At Henry’s command, Sir Francis approaches Mary and asks her if she wants to play “cunnilingus.” Mary agrees, but asks how to play. The scene did really happen with some slight creative license. In reality, Henry tested Mary’s sexual naivete by incorporating some naughty words into a court masque. Mary did not understand the words, but the rest of the court was certainly amused.

On a side note, Mary really was totally innocent to court flirtations. One of her ladies in waiting, Jane Dormer commented that Mary, ‘knew no foul or unclean speeches, which, when her lord father understood, he would not believe it.’ (2) Mary’s innocence continued well into her late 30’s when Dormer tells another funny story involving the notorious flirt, Lord William Howard. One day, Howard tickled the chin of another of Mary’s ladies in waiting, Frances Neville and teasingly said, ‘my pretty whore, how douse thou?’ Mary overheard the conversation and took notes. Later, when Francis was helping Mary dress her lady reused her newly learned vocabulary on Frances saying, ‘God-a-mercy, my pretty whore!” Frances aghast begged Mary not to use that word again explaining it was not a loving term of endearment.

Meanwhile…. A hornet's nest of rebels come knocking on Lord Darcy’s door and he meets with the leader of the rebels, Robert Aske. Aske gives Darcy his usual speech– Their aims are peaceful. They just want Henry to start listening to their grievances and stop listening to Cromwell’s counsel. bla bla bla. (All very true) It doesn’t really matter what Aske says for Darcy is really caught in a rock and a monarchist hard spot. If he doesn’t join the cause, then he loses his home and endangers the safety of his family. If he joins, then he is a traitor. Worst of all, Darcy doesn’t have a single cannon that will fire to protect his castle. (His garrison numbered only 260 men, but it shrunk to half of that by the time of Aske’s visit).

What the Tudors failed to mention is that the poor guy was also living on a greatly reduced income and suffering from a bad base of chronic bowel disorder. Really…. it is too much for our victim Darcy. Old Tom (as he was called by his buddies) just wants to live his last days out in peace with an occasional hearty bowel movement. What was he to do?

Back in London, Henry is roughing Cromwell up with a royal smack down. (He did hit him on practically a daily basis.) Henry commands Cromwell to write a letter to Darcy saying he better hold Pontefract castle or else. (The letter actually came from Henry and was more along the lines of what kind of sissy boy can’t defend his own castle) Henry vainly threatens to make a trip to the North himself to settle matters. This sort of remind me of when my sister and I were really noisy and my Dad would scream up, "don't make me come up there!" Much like my Dad, Henry's threat was an empty one. He didn't visit the north until his royal progress in 1541.

Meanwhile….Reginald Pole meets with Cardinal von Wahlberg. The Cardinal tells Pole that the Holy Father has asked him to write a pamphlet denouncing the king and plans to elevate Pole to the title of Cardinal. Pole agrees to the assignment, but humbly refuses the Cardinal position.

In reality, Henry asked Pole to write down his thoughts on his supposed unlawful marriage to Catherine of Aragon. With reluctance Pole agreed and came back with an unexpected diatribe titled Pro ecclesiasticae unitatis defensione in which he referred to Henry as a “dirty barrel.” Not exactly what Bluff King Hal had in mind, but we can hardly blame Pole for his impertinence. Henry had recently executed his buddies More and Fisher so Pole was in no mood to play nice. In response, Henry sent Pole a summons to appear before him and explain exactly what he meant by “dirty barrel.” But Pole wasn’t that stupid. He declined the invitation and instead headed straight for the Vatican to hide behind Pope Paul III’s skirts while Henry raged in England.

Pole did turn down the fancy red Cardinal’s hat…. at first. He also turned down Cardinal Wosley’s old position of Archbishop of York when Henry offered it to him. Is Pole really that humble or is he simply biding his time? We will have to wait and see.

Pole then meets with the Spanish Ambassador, Mendoza to encourage the uprising in the North along with plans of putting the Lady Mary on the throne. He even goes so far at to suggest that he could easily step into the king’s shoes.

In truth, we do not know what Pole’s intentions were. On one hand, he showed his humility by turning down lucrative positions. On the other hand, he had set up a base in Flanders, upon the orders of the Pope, with the obvious intention of leading a foreign invasion. Overall, Pole was probably the greatest threat to Henry's reign, not only because he had a better claim to the throne and the ability to stir public opinion in his direction, but because he had the means to establish a foreign invading army. In Henry’s mind, Pole and all his kin had to be exterminated like cockroaches.

Back in the north, Aske gives his demands to Suffolk (Norfolk) that includes a new Parliament to be summoned and the restoration of the abbeys, but not a mention of Cromwell. Later, when the rebels meet with Suffolk again they list Cromwell as their last request. We must remember that the pilgrims had no desire to displace their king, but they did want to change the tide of corrupt rule under Cromwell. Cromwell’s dismissal was really the number one sticking point to settle their grievances. It was not an afterthought.

Meanwhile, Henry has promised a pardon to all leaders in the insurrection and a future meeting with Parliament to hear their grievances. In reality, Henry had a list of 10 people that were not included in this pardon. Aske and Constable were on the "no pardon list," but conveniently for Henry, neither knew it.

You would think that since Aske was a lawyer that he would have got all of Henry's promises in writing but....noooooooo. He actually trusted the king's "word." Sir Constable (who was not a lawyer) basically says he trusts the king about as far as he can throw him (which isn't far because Henry is pretty pudgy by this point.) Constable bases his mistrust on a letter he secretly receives. This letter is pure Hollywood, but it is true that Robert Constable was against a truce while Aske believed in sugar plum fairy tales and a king who kept his word. Silly Aske.

Next, there is a scene between Henry and Suffolk that is not entirely fair to Henry. In this scene, Suffolk asks Henry what he should tells the rebels and Henry basically says, “oh I trust you. Just make something up. “ It is true that Henry tended to trust the day to day drudgery of his administration to his trusted advisers and Norfolk was left to pick up the pieces in the north. But Henry was always actively involved in more weighty matters of policy. For example, Henry would often open letters addressed to Cromwell and Cromwell himself often instructed others when writing to him to also send a copy to the king. Henry was pretty much like any typical CEO today. He didn’t want to be bothered when it came time to order more staples, but he certainly would not be out to lunch if the company were going under. (Ok maybe that is bad example. Some CEO’s probably would be out to lunch) But you get the point. Henry would never have sat back and told Suffolk to handle things on his own during the greatest threat to his throne. I am guessing that the producers are trying to build up the tension and stress upon Suffolk because it is statistically proven fact that every time Henry Cavil sweats it raises ratings.

Meanwhile, Aske gets invited to dinner at Henry's place. Will Aske really be so foolish as to think Hank is going to give him a big hug and kiss and say no hard feeling about almost bringing down my kingdom like a house of cards? Well, someone has to play the fool in this drama. Find out in the next episode….

Notes:
(1) Weir p. 360
(2) Weir p. 5

Sources and Further Reading:
Moorhouse, Geoffrey, The Pilgrimage of Grace: The Rebellion that shook Henry VIII's Throne, Troy, Michigan: Phoenix, 2003.
Hoyle, R.W. The Pilgrimage of Grace and the Politics of the 1530s. New York, NY: Oxford University Press, USA, 2003.
Starkey, David. The Six Wives of Henry VIII. New York, NY: Harper Perennial, 2004
Fraser, Antoinia. The Six wives of Henry VIII, New York, NY: Vintage, 1993
Weir, Alison. The Six Wives of Henry VIII. New York, NY: Grover Press, 1991

Season Premier of the Tudors

For those of you that missed the season premier last Sunday of the Tudors, it is also available onDemand for Showtime subscribers along with episode 2. I will be posting a Historical vs. Hollywood post on episode 2 this week.

In the meantime, check out PopTudor for everything Tudor related.

Or if you would rather just drool over the actors, here are some great fan sites for some of my favorite Tudor hotties.

James Frain
Jonathan Rhys Meyers
Henry Cavill

What's New in Children's Books: Conference Notes

I would like to thank the The Foundation for Children's Books for inviting me to speak at their "What's New in Children's Books?" conference today. It is always daunting giving talks to librarians and teachers whose passion for books is often hard to match. It's especially daunting when you have spent the night before crouched over your toilet bowl wishing you were something other than a pregnant woman. I am not even sure if I pulled any coherent thoughts together, but I managed to not puke once during my entire presentation….quite an accomplishment for me lately. (ok I confess I did throw up in my mouth, but that doesn't count.)

Thank you to Sara Pennypacker for giving such an inspirational talk. It's always interesting to get inside the head of successful authors and hear where their ideas come from. I would also like to apologize to E.B Lewis who in my sleep deprived, addled state, I referred to as the great American writer "E.B White." (For those of you who are not familiar with the children's book publishing world, Mr. Lewis has over 40 books, many of which are award winners, and deserves to not be confused with E.B. White) Lastly, I would like to thank the women in the bathroom who let me cut them when I pointed to my belly and cryptically muttered...."pregnant...can't hold. Please."

My talk was about how to use New Literacy to incorporate European history in the classrooms. For those of you who might not be familiar with the latest buzzword in education, New Literacy is basically the ability to communicate and comprehend information discerned in new ways. The goal is to keep education relevant in the digital age and to teach literacy beyond the pages of books. Some of the new ways of learning include Wikis, primary sources online, Youtube videos, Utunes, virtual museums and of course blogs. You can find a video and some of the latest progress in this area here.

Here are some of my links in case you didn't get to jot them down. (Because Lincoln is celebrating his 200th anniversary and Henry his 500th, I have used Lincoln and Henry as examples of new literacy teaching.)

Primary Sources Online:
With so many students using the Internet solely to do their homework, it is entirely reasonable now to ask students to use primary sources online.

Some examples of primary sources online include British History Online and Lincoln's State Papers.

Virtual Museums
Virtual Museums offer teachers ways to incorporate historical artifacts into their curriculum. In the past, we would have to travel thousands of miles to access these artifacts. Although virtual musuems will never replace the real thing, they do offer a new way to access art.

Some new innovation in virtual museums include:

• Creative Spaces: connects you with nine UK national museums and galleries, allowing you to explore and comment on collections, upload your own content, and build and share collections with others.

• Virtual Tours: 3d sites offer new ways for students to experience artifacts within their classrooms. Here is a very interesting one on Henry VIII’s ship the Mary Rose

(I also post new interactive learning sites on this blog and within my newsletter.)

Podcasts
Many classrooms are asking their student to make their own podcast instead of the standard written history assignment. Here is a simple tutorial on how to make a podcast.

Some of my favorite podcasts include the Napoleon Podcast, Tudor Cast, and Everything Lincoln
(I find it best to just open iTunes and type in the name of the desired podcast)

Movie Trailers
Many classrooms are also asking their students to create movie trailers on significant events in history. You can see a very simple example of the movie trailer that I made for my book here. The only tools students need to make movie trailers is a pc or mac with Window Movie Maker or Apple's iMovie. Both programs are free and very easy to use.

Wikis
Wikis are wonderful ways for students to collaborate on a history project because their scalable nature allows the assignment to be easily broken up into digestible pieces. Student can create different pages on a famous person in history instead of having to tackle their entire biography.

Some Wiki examples include the Tudor Wiki or the Lincoln Wiki.

Reenactments
Nothing is more dramatic and memorable then acting out history. Some of my favorite ideas for reenactments include:

• The trial of Richard III. Did he kill the Princes in the tower?
• A short play reenacting Henry VIII’s break from the church
• Elizabeth I vs. Mary Queen of Scots: a heated debate between two groups on whether or not Mary deserved her fate
• Have students act out Marie Antoinette’s execution using primary sources. Although executions can often be very grim aspects of history, they are also well-recorded events so they offer a perfect vehicle to introduce primary sources to students.
• And of course my favorite assignment…to trace a rumor in history and have students analyze the motives behind different sources.

Blogs
Many teachers are allowing for independent research time in their classrooms which includes blog reading. Some of my favorite history blogs are listed in the left hand column of this site under "Raucous Blogs."

I hope some of these links make it easier for teachers and librarians to squeeze a little European history into their curriculum.

Winner of Who put the B in the Ballyhoo?

This month's winner for The Raucous Book of the Month was Barbara. I have emailed the winner. I will be doing the drawing for The King's Rose at the end of this month. Stay tune for a review...

All newsletter subscribers are automatically entered to win the Raucous Book of the Month.

Renaissance Beauty Secrets

In one of Shakespeare’s most famous plays, Hamlet scolds Ophelia, ‘God hath given you one face, and you make yourselves another.' Shakespeare was making a reference to Ophelia’s cunning use of cosmetics and he was not alone in his objections. Especially in England, cosmetics were generally mistrusted as sorcery designed to trick helpless men. In essence, Renaissance women faced the same challenges that we do today - they had to look like their beauty was effortless. Unfortunately, to achieve effortless beauty, women had to absorb more toxic ingredients than the average lab rat.

In last week’s post, readers were invited to take the “Are you a Renaissance Beauty” quiz. For all of you that might have been less than happy with your score (including me), here is your chance to redeem yourself. The following 500-year old beauty secrets should have the poets and artists singing your praise.

Disclaimer: The Raucous Royals takes no responsibility for any injury that might result from using these techniques.

Alabaster Skin: Steal the Look (the Renaissance Way)
In medieval times, women bleached their skin using lead pasta, but by the Renaissance, women had got white skin down to an evil science. To look like you haven’t seen the sun in 20 years, first apply raw eggs to your face as a primer. Next, mix together lead and vinegar to make ceruse. Apply it liberally to face and neck.

For a truly corpse-like face, take blue paint and apply thin veins to forehead and breasts. Finish it off with another coating of egg whites and voila…you have been turned to marble.

Tip: For an even fairer look, you could also try the old Renaissance beauty trick of applying leeches to your ears. The leeches would drain the blood from your head giving you that I am about to swoon look.

Warning: Over time, this beauty concoction would cause holes in your face. If patches of your skin start to fall off then immediately apply more lead makeup. If you prefer your skin to not look like Swiss cheese covered in frosting, you may want to try the 17th century beauty trick of applying patches of fabric to the holes on your face. Cut them into stars, moons and circles. Be creative. This is your melting skin.

Plucked: Steal the Look (The Renaissance Way)
You have probably already noticed something peculiar about Mona Lisa’s mischievous eyes…she is missing her brows. Most women in the Renaissance were pluck-happy with the tweezers. They not only plucked their brows, but also their hairline to give the impression of a wide forehead. Ouch!

White Teeth: Steal the Look (the Renaissance Way)
There were many recipes to whiten teeth in the Renaissance. One recipe advised mixing pumice stone, brick and coal and then rubbing vigorously across the teeth. Crushed bone worked in a pinch too.

We think of Nostradamus as the great profit who predicted the end of the world, but he also wrote a book on beauty secrets. His formula for whitening teeth and freshening breath was the following:

Take three drams each of crystal, flint, white marble, glass and calcined rock salt, two drams each of cuttlefish bone and calcined sea-snail shells, half a dram each of fragmented pearls, two drams of bright riverbed stones (which form little white pebbles), one scruple of amber and twenty-two grains of musk, and grind them down thoroughly on a painter's marble slab. Rub the teeth with [the resultant powder] frequently and gently rub with a little rose honey any places where the gums have receded.In a few days you will see the flesh grow back, and the teeth clearly get whiter.

Warning: If you use these concoctions repeatedly, the enamel will eventually wear off your teeth. No worries. If you live in England during the reign of Elizabeth I then you could follow the latest fashion rage and paint your teeth black. It might not seem appealing at first, but it shows that you (like the queen) can afford the sweets that cause tooth decay.

Beautiful Hair: Steal the Look (the Renaissance Way)
When it comes to Renaissance beauty, blonds couldn't have been having much fun. To get those golden locks apply a mixture of saffron, lemon juice and rhubarb. Next, sit the sun for the WHOLE afternoon wearing a hat with the crown removed called a Solana. (Shown here).

If you had black hair and wanted to get rid of those pesky grays then you could try some of the recipes listed in Isabella Cortese's 1584 best-seller, Secrets. The following recipe must have not only altered your hair, but a few strands of DNA:

Take four or five spoons of quicklime in powder, two pennyworth of lead oxide with gold and two with silver, and put everything in a mortar and grind it with ordinary water; set it to boil as long you would cook a pennyworth of cabbage; remove it from the fire and let it cool until tepid. And then wash your hair with it. After an hour, wash your hair with clean, warm water and no soap, and then wash yourself with ordinary cleaning agent and soap your hair as usual; and do this every week.

Royal Beauty Secrets
Lastly, if the above concoctions don’t have you feeling 10 years younger, then you can steal these beauty elixirs from some famous royals:

• Catherine de Medici used pigeon dung on her face to get that dewy, young complexion.
• Mary Queen of Scots bathed in wine to keep herself looking young and fresh.
• Diane de Poitiers’ fountain of youth was to drink gold. Yummy.
  

Enjoy!

Author Interview: Leanda de Lisle

Leanda de Lisle, author of The Sisters Who Would Be Queen: The Tragedy of Mary, Katherine and Lady Jane Grey, will be answering questions at the Lady Jane Grey Reference Guide

You have until April 15th to send your questions.