Thursday, March 12, 2009

Are you a Renaissance Beauty? Take the quiz and find out...

Between perfectly bouncy locks and flawless skin, society today obviously values a pretty face. This beauty ideal is nothing new, but it has been redefined throughout history. Pressure to be beautiful in Renaissance Italy was especially cruel. In essence, Renaissance people were the ultimate victims of the Cinderella tale. Wicked and unchaste women were ugly. Virtuous women were beautiful.

So what secured one woman a lucrative marriage and the next a one-way ticket to the nunnery? Luckily, Florentine writer, Agnolo Firenzuola put into writing the physical characteristics that made a woman beautiful. Take the following quiz and find out if you would be a beauty or a bawd....

Are you a Renaissance Beauty?

1. My forehead is:
A. Twice as wide as it is high
B. Half as wide as it is high
C. About the same in width and height

2. My hair color is:
A. Brunette
B. Red
C. Blond
D. Grey
E. Black

3. My eye color is:
A. Chestnut brown
B. Dark brown
C. Blue
D. Green
E. Hazel

4. My hair is:
A. Straight
B. Curly
C. Wavy

5. My nose is:
A. Short and small
B. Pointed and slender
C. As big as an Italian sausage
D. Upturned at the tip

6. My lips are:
A. Like a tiny rose bud
B. As big as my botox injection will allow
C. Thin

7. When I smile I…
A. Open my mouth wide
B. Open my mouth slightly
C. I don’t dare show my teeth

8. My complexion is:
A. Fair
B. Swarthy or dark
C. Peaches and cream
D. Medium

9. My eyebrows are:
A. Thick and full
B. Very thin and arched
C. What eyebrows? I plucked them off

10. My neck is:
A. Long and elegant
B. Short and stumpy

1) A = 2, B=0, C = 1
2) A = 0, B = 2, C = 3, D = -1, E=0
3) A= 3, B= 0, C=1, D= 0, E=2
4) A=0, B=2, C=1
5) A=0, B=2, C=0, D=0
6) A=2, B=0, C=0
7) A=0, B=2, C=1
8) A=3, B=0, C=2, D=0
9) A=0, B=2, C=1
10) A=2, B =0

23-17 points
You might have been Leonardo’s muse in another life. But before you get too cocky, remember that you would be positively washed-up by the age of 30. Hope that day has not come yet.

16-10 points
You may need a little help with some tweezers and lead make-up. Stay tuned for a future post on Renaissance beauty secrets.

9-0 points
Sheeesh…. You sure got hit with the 16th century ugly stick? Don’t worry. Perk up that Hapsburg chin and make sure to read the future post on Renaissance beauty secrets.

The Renaissance Beauty Ideal
Beautiful and virtuous women had a fair complexion with blond, curly hair, a long elegant neck and chestnut brown eyes. Their eyebrows were perfectly arched and thin and their foreheads should be twice as wide as they were high. (plucking helped). Our muse should also have a long, slender nose but it should not turn up at the end and her lips should be shaped like a delicate rosebud. She should have perfect teeth, but should never reveal them fully to her suitor. If she had bad teeth then she should keep her mouth closed at all times.

So how did you do?


Anonymous said...

Math? During tax season?

Congratulations on your good news!

Lucy said...

Ok, well my roots need a touch up and it doesn't say much about fried hair...eye colour is right but need some brow plucking and, oh yeah, no more laughing out loud for me;)

Lidian said...

I took the quiz and I am not (not big surprise either)...

It was really fun though! :)

Anonymous said...

I am! This is a cool little quiz. :-)

Wiggs (The Beholder) said...

Ha! Apparently I'm a renaissance beauty, except for my little nose. Oh well. Can't have it all.

And, yes, I WILL be cocky about this, thankyouverymuch.

Great post!

Bearded Lady said...

I would have had to hope for a huge dowry because I am definitely not a Renaissance beauty. ah well.

Anonymous said...

gosh. i am the ugly stick.. *cries cries*.. lol..

TammiMagee said...

Oh no-I only scored 13! I guess I need your Renaissance beauty tips after all :)

Anonymous said...

Aw nutz! Here I was thinking all this time that I would have fit in so much better during the Renaissance, but I guess I wouldn't have done much damage back then either! I can't win, LOL!

Anonymous said...

14... I need a little help with the tweezers and lead makeup...

Abby said...

thank God it's the 21st century. barely scored a 10!