The Tudors, Historical vs. Hollywood: Episode 1, Season 4

The Historical:

Episode 1 starts off extra steamy. I mean really steamy. Everyone is dripping in sweat. London at the time was going through a nasty heat wave where so little rain fell that many commoners were suffering through crop failures and plague outbreaks. To Henry and his royal party, the lack of rain only meant one thing – more time to enjoy themselves. Kathryn insists that all her ladies start dressing like French women and wear their French hoods with pride. (French hoods were the mini skirt of their day. The more hair you showed…the more scandalous.) Henry decides to go on progress and show off his new queen. Meanwhile, Kathryn is getting spoiled rotten by an endless flow of jewels and castles. (Henry gave her more gifts than any of his other queens.) And all she has to do is giggle every two minutes and make naughty puppet shadows. What a life! Her only thorn in her side is Mary, who just can’t seem to warm up to her Dad’s new misses. It might just be the age difference.

Kat does have her admirers. Thomas Culpepper just can’t seem to stop commenting about her bottom. How treasonous! Ok that part is a bit silly, but the rape scene is legit. In a letter from Richard Hilles to Henry Bullinger he relates:

One of the parties who was first hanged and afterwards beheaded and quartered for adultery with the Queen was one of the King's Chamberlains, and two years before or less had violated a park keeper's wife, whom three or four attendants held down for him in a thicket. But for this he was pardoned by the King, and likewise for a murder committed when some villagers tried to apprehend him for the crime.(1)

You would think having a mud slinging, new chippy would make Hank a bit more forgiving, but nooooooo. Before he leads for his progress, he does a little spring cleaning in the Tower and executes some notorious prisoners including John Nevill and Lord Dacre. True: Lord Dacre was imprisoned for robbery and people were shocked and saddened by his execution. (He was only 17). False: John Nevill was pardoned.

Hollywood:
Timelines get a little wonky. According to the Tudors, King Francis proposes marriage between his son Henri II and Henry VIII’s daughter Mary. This would make Francis pimp daddy to a suspiciously bigamist marriage because Catherine de Medici was already married to Henri in 1533. Catherine had enough trouble beating off her husband’s mistress, Diane de Poitiers without dealing with a second wife. Francis did propose this marriage alliance. It just happened earlier.

Kathryn knew Culpepper before becoming queen of England. There were rumors floating about that they were to marry before she came to the attentions of the king. The Tudors seems to imply that they are just getting to know each other.

There is a scene where Henry’s boys talk about the cruelty of French court. I didn’t quite understand this scene? Yes, the English always saw the French as uncouth and the French saw the English as positively barbaric, but the English court system was ten times harsher than France’s criminal system. In England, a man could be hung for stealing a sheep. France, would take the lesser punishment of removing a limb or two. One of the gentlemen mentions that Francis took delight in setting puppies on fire. Francis loved dogs, especially his beloved masties. The only time (that I know of) of animals being burnt was during Elizabeth I’s reign. As part of her coronation ceremony, cats were placed in a huge basket and lit on fire to symbolize the releasing of demons.

Francis Dereham is missing. He was the boyfriend from Kat’s past that really got the whole infidelity investigations rolling. Maybe he appears next episode.

I am not sure where they are going with Joan Bulmer cast as the lesbian intriguer. It is true that Joan wrote to Kathryn to secure a position and she was well aware of Kat's past. But the person to really bring down Kathryn was Mary Hall at the insistence of her brother, Protestant reformer, John Lassells. The writers did use some real quotes from history -  (ie. the letter, the comment about hanging from their bellies like sparrows and the huffing and puffing that she heard. )

Thomas Howard, Earl of Surrey was the son of the first Thomas Howard, Duke of Norfolk thereby making him and Kathryn cousins. Not his niece. But the Duke of Norfolk disappeared in earlier seasons so someone now has to play the villian. It is true that he was a bit of a cad and had spent some time in France skirt chasing. So they have the rough outlines of his character correct.

Anne Stanhope gets further defamed in season four, but there is no proof that she was the little trollop that she plays. I already addressed her portrayal in last season.

In 1542, Henry decided to invade Scotland, not France. I know die hard historical lovers are going to having a hard time with this one. I understand why they chose to portray France as the main rival. Firstly, France and England were not exactly chummy at this time. Second, they have already established France and England as the Tom and Jerry of the 16th century. Bringing Scotland into the mix would really muddy up plotlines espcially when they would have to bring Henry's sis, Margaret back from the dead and marry her off to the right king.


Conclusion:
Season four will probably be the most controversial regarding accuracy because so much of what we know about Kathryn comes from her enemies making it difficult to know if she was an ambitious queen or just a foolish, party girl.

Overall, I was prepared for the writers to cast Kathryn, Henry and Culpepper into the same tedious love triangle that fictional portrayals have in the past. Henry is usually typecast as the lecherous, pathetic aging husband. Kathryn is seen as the young victim unable to escape the attentions of a king. And lastly, Culpepper plays the role of valiant, romantic suitor who will risk anything to be with his lady love. The truth is less cliché and not nearly as much of a snore.

Henry, although definitely a bit pudgy and nursing a leg wound, was still hunting with his men every morning for at least two hours. Although he certainly needed to cut back on the swan binges, he was not the corporal beast of his final years. I think the Tudors did an incredible job showing Henry aged but still sexy.

Then let’s take Kathryn’s actions to appoint her past partners in crime to such visible positions as court. Was this a mark of her naivety? Or does it show a certain recklessness stemming from that arrogant Howard pride? The Tudors lets the viewer decide. They show Kathryn both giddy and foolish one minute and then haughtily announcing, “I am queen now. Do as I command.” I tend to think it was a little of both.

Lastly, I was really expecting a swashbuckling Culpepper to come striding up on his white horse serenading his love beneath her window. Instead, The Tudors shows a far creepier Culpepper capable of tremendous brutality in the rape a village girl. Culpepper is no hero. His violent actions are partly due to the indifferent cruelty of his times and partly due to how he viewed women as dogs to be kicked around.

I am hoping that in the next few episodes Kathryn will do a little less giggling and become a bit more multidimensional. Kathryn did have a benevolent side that seems to have ended up on the cutting room floor. For example, Kathryn intervened to save the life of several of her friends and relatives. She saved the life of Helen Page, rescued her cousin John Leigh from the Tower and of course her most famous intersession on behalf of poet Thomas Wyatt. Maybe that will come in next episode….


I am not sure if I am going to have time to continue this thread as thouroughly as last season. I am still getting woken up every 2 hours by a 6 month old that acts like a newborn and the sleep deprivation is seriously hurting the ole memory. Plus, I really have a book proposal that needs to get out. So if I missed any inaccuracies or mixed anything up then just write in the comment below. There is a page for Historical Inaccuracies of Season 4 over at the Tudor Wiki so keep checking it for updates.


(1) From: 'Appendix', Letters and Papers, Foreign and Domestic, Henry VIII, Volume 17: 1542 (1900), pp. 706-712.

Showtime's The Tudors: Historical vs. Hollywood – Episode 3

Episode 3 kicks off with Aske being invited back to court for what is shaping up to be the Brady Bunch Christmas…. except Henry is seething inside and looking for an excuse to salt and boil Aske’s head. Henry promises Aske that all leaders will be pardoned and they will have their meeting with Parliament. To show his loyalty, Henry gives him a handsome gift of a robe. In reality, Henry gave him the gold chain off his neck and 1000 pounds.

Little Lady Elizabeth is looking as cute as a button and reciting French to the delight of the court. She was back at court for the celebrations.

Holbein is busy painting the beautiful and very nude Lady Missledon. Minus the jealous fiancé bursting in, this scene is pulled straight from the history books. According to legend, Holbein got into a fight with an anonymous English earl and threw him down the stairs. The injured earl complained to Henry about his injustice, but instead of punishing Holbein, Henry admonished the whining courtier by reminding him, “I tell you, earl, that if it pleased me to make seven dukes of seven peasants, I could do so, but I could never make of seven earls Hans Holbein or any as eminent as he.”(1) (The Tudors uses a very similar line.)

What I thought was particularly interesting about this scene was that they showed Holbein using what looked to be an early form of a camera obscura. A camera obscura is basically an optical device that projects an image onto paper so that the artist could accurately sketch or paint their subject. It is believed to be the first form of photographic images. Art Historians have always wondered if Holbein achieved such accuracy in his paintings by using a camera obscura.

Flash to Francis Bryan getting naughty with Edward Seymour’s wife, Anne Stanhope. It is true that Edward Seymour’s repudiated his first wife, Catherine Fillol for adultery, but he was married to Anne Stanhope by 1534. (Rumors had it that Anne Fillol's affair was with Edward's dad John Seymour. ick.) Contemporaries describing Anne Stanhope have given her the typical 16th century, misogynistic euphemisms for “strong willed". One account referred to her as ‘monstrous’ while another called her ‘more presumptuous than Lucifer’. (Katherine Parr later nicknamed her ‘hell’). Whether these descriptions are deserved or not, Anne certainly kept her husband on a very short leash. But, this short leash did not include cuckolding. So although it is a juicy scene, this one is pure Hollywood.

A touching scene follows where the Lady Mary gives Aske a diamond ring. One of the demands of the Pilgrimage of Grace was that the Lady Mary be made legitimate again so Mary most likely secretly supported their cause. Still, there is no proof of any meeting with Aske or of Mary giving him a diamond.

Aske leaves London and paints a picture to the commoners of just how rosy the world will be once they submit to the king. Constable and Darcy tell him to wake up and smell the deception, but Aske is still as naïve as ever. All true. At this time, the commoners continued to revolt and this was all the excuse Henry needed to reneg on his promises. Suffolk (Norfolk) is instructed to head back north to punish the rebels. What follows may seem like a superfluous amount of bloodshed, but by all accounts the retaliation was as gruesome as depicted. (Yes, Norfolk really did hang all the rebels by trees.) In a later scene, The Tudors touches on the regret Norfolk bears as Henry’s handmaiden of death. Unfortunately, we really don’t know how the Pilgrimage of Grace affected Norfolk, but anyone with a pulse might have felt a little queasy about murdering mostly innocent men fighting for their beliefs.

Suffolk then tells Aske that he is needed back in London to “explain” himself. Aske with his usual dopey, lost puppy look agrees to return to London. All of this could have been prevented if I could have reached into my television and shook some sense into the fool.

Meanwhile, Jane is having the standard pregnancy craving for quail eggs. (This sent my pregnant stomach to the bathroom….but to each their own.) It is true that Jane was gobbling up quails (not their eggs) every chance she could get. Henry even had to order them from Calais and they were rather expensive at 12d for six dozen.

What follows next is a sickening interrogation of the leaders Constable, Darcy and Aske. Constable had a hard time defending himself with the hot poker stuffed up him arse so his interrogation did not have as much dialog. No record exists of Constable being tortured. He was hanged in chains at Hull. Not a pleasant way to die.

Cromwell accuses Aske of spreading untrue rumors that the parishes would be torn down which basically started the whole rebellion. (true) Aske denies the charges and says the real reason for the rebellion was that he was trying to preserve the monasteries which he called, “one of the beauties of the realm.” (He used these exact words.)

Henry later visits Aske in prison. The visit is pure Hollywood, but Henry’s speech to Aske really does hit on why Henry felt justified dissolving the monasteries. By the 16th century, the lifestyle of many of the abbots was completely secular. They often lived in separate lavish households, held offices in parliament and engaged in the same activities as nobles – hawking, feasts, chasing the ladies etc. When a very broke Henry saw the riches of the monasteries…. it didn’t take long for him to see the answer to his financial woes. Henry really did view many of the abbots and monks as “vagabonds” living off the wealth of the church.

In fairness to the monasteries, they provided valuable services to the community including hospitality to rich, alms for the poor, the production of wool, education for women, employed a sizeable workforce and obviously spiritual fulfillment. We can imagine today what happens when a major employer has to close their doors. Many monks and nuns did receive pensions, but they were also out on the streets without work. If your greatest skill is weaving tapestry or chanting hymns then it was kind of hard to find job opportunities.

Meanwhile, Cromwell also accuses Darcy of being a traitor, but Darcy reminds Cromwell that his hands were kind of tied at the time. (see discussion on previous episode.) Cromwell uses Darcy's letter as proof of his deception. This is true. Darcy kept record of all of his correspondences which later provided the proof to convict him. During his interrogation, Darcy bravely defied Cromwell and warned him, “thou wouldst procure all the noblemen’s head within the realm to be stricken off, yet shall there one head remain that shall strike off thy head.(2)” The Tudors incorporated Darcy’s speech into the interrogation scene, but modernized the English. Nice touch. In a later scene, viewers see a meeker Darcy with his pickled head on the Tower bridge. At least he went out with a good speech.

Whose head will roll next….stay tune for episode 4 to find out.

Miss the last episodes of Historical vs. Hollywood?
Read Historical vs. Hollywood for episode 1
Read Historical vs. Hollywood for episode 2

Notes:
(1) Warnicke, p. 141
(2) Moorhouse p. 339

Sources listed in previous episode