Medieval torture devices: Which one is right for your toddler?

This "timeout" thing is not working. My two year old simply enjoys it too much. Yesterday while in timeout, she reenacted a whole play using her hands as puppets. When I told her that her timeout was over, she gleefully informed me that she was "not done yet". Other times, she sings Old MacDonald at the top of her lungs thereby making timeouts far more torture for me.

I need to up my game in parental diciplanary action. I need a toddler version of the pillory and stocks.

The pillory (shown above) was a wooden frame usually mounted on a post where the criminal would place their head and hands through the holes. Sometimes the offender's ears were cut off and nailed to it as a public service announcement to all the village hoodlums. Crimes that could get you in the pillory included libel, cheating, stealing, forging, vandalism and even selling underweight bread or bad meat. (If you had ever had food poisoning then this seems like an appropriate punishment.) 

I used to think the pillory and stocks were the same thing, but there is a distinction. The stocks (shown above) were a wooden frame with holes for the ankles. Clearly, you can see that this medieval torture device is not going to put an end to hand puppet plays. I recommend the pillory for your toddler.