Friday, February 13, 2009

Love advice from Benjamin Franklin


Not only was Benjamin Franklin not afraid to fly a kite in a thunderstorm, invent a day planner, and wear a ridiculous beaver hat, but he also didn’t shy away from giving love advice. In a letter entitled ‘Advice to a young man on the choice of a mistress,’ Ben gave 8 reasons why his friend should find himself a ripe, old gal instead of a young chippie.

My favorite is number 5:

Because in every animal that walks upright, the deficiency of the fluids that fill the muscles appears first in the highest part: The face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the neck; then the breast and arms; the lower parts continuing to the last as plump as ever; So that covering all above with a basket, and regarding only what is below the girdle, it is impossible of two women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all cats are grey, the pleasure of corporal enjoyment with an old woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every knack being by practice capable of improvement.

So to any male readers, please remember the sage advice of Mr. Franklin this Valentines day –all you need to find true love is an older woman… and perhaps a basket.

Sources: Gatreli, Vic. City of Laughter, New York, NY: Walker &Co., 2006

4 comments:

Sara said...

I'll just put that one up with "things I never thought I'd hear from the founding fathers..."

funny!

Katie M. said...

Benny was and always will be THE MAN!

Carrie K said...

I cannot imagine why Hallmark hasn't put that in a Valentine's Day Card. Pure poetry.

Bearded Lady said...

It's hard to believe from looking at him but Benny was quite the ladies man! And yes, they should put his advice on a card.